Dear Family, Friends and Well Wishers,
I write this letter from a prison where I have been wrongly incarcerated for the past six months for a crime I did NOT commit. This letter comes to you with greetings of love, peace and blessings, may your spirit welcome it in its fullness.
The Holiday season is fast approaching, and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2010. I have received 600+ letters from many of you since my conviction. Each and every letter is near and dear to my heart, and I thank you for your love, support, prayers and warm thoughts from the bottom of my heart. Many of you have written to me wanting to know how I am coping, the difficulties I am experiencing, what you can all do to ease my discomfort and pain. First, please know that all your support you have shown by reaching out to me and my family, coming to participate in peaceful marches, and your letters of support have all come with a tremendous amount of appreciation. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and I have been humbly touched. Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement to lift my spirit. Some of you have written to me that you want to share so much with me, but are concerned about sharing things with me that may make me even more upset about the situation that I have been unjustly placed in. But, I prefer you share your life, joys or sorrows, either your personal life or your feelings about my case. It’s okay. Because, to tell you the truth, not a day goes by I am not terrified that I may not be able to be with my wife and my two sons (one on the way this February), raising them together and watching my children grow as this has been a lifelong dream for Peggy and me. I continue to be in very much shock and in so much pain. My mind is restless with pain and anger and the loneliness from being away from Peggy, my 21 month old son, Kishan, and his baby brother and all my loved ones. I still feel like I am in a dream…waiting and hoping to wake up soon because this dream is so horrid it just can’t be true. I feel as if I cannot wake up from a bad dream. And…it has to be a dream because this should NEVER have happened. I still cannot believe no matter how hard I think about it, or how many times I replay the trial in my head, that it really came to all this. I can never and will never be able to accept such a gross miscarriage of justice.
There is no greater threat to society than illegal abuse of power by those sworn to uphold the law. It was clear to many who witnessed the trial that I did not get a fair trial. Even with the unfair trial I received, I still believed I would be exonerated because the facts and evidence to support the facts were overwhelmingly in my favor to prove my innocence. The prosecution’s case was all based on hearsay, speculation, conjecture, guess work and no physical evidence. The extensive record clearly demonstrated that my conviction was predicated upon an appeal to emotion rather than reason, and concealment rather than disclosure. The jury was permitted to draw inference of guilt based solely upon the bias spin of the Deputy District Attorney of the translated pretext call, but yet was denied information which may have supported the claims of innocence. I thought given the limited time for defense allowed by the Judge, my defense counsel did a good job bringing out most of the evidence in Court – however, he believed and depended too much on the jury’s intelligence to make the obvious conclusions. The District Attorney in his closing argument misinterpreted and misrepresented not just the content of the pretext phone call but also my state of mind, which touched a nerve of the jury, thus the verdict. I am completely at a loss of words on how could a jury set aside and give the accuser a pass for continually lying under oath? She was 26 when she testified, not 16! The jury ignored ALL the evidence that supported the facts and decided the case on emotion.
All we see and hear about is the bad and evil going on in society, and I think that people in general are jaded to think that people are bad, unless proven good. The defendant is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, and it is the prosecution’s job to prove the guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, but this is just a myth…especially in sex crime cases in Yolo County . The jury may have thought: may be the prosecution didn’t prove it, but they must know something – otherwise, we wouldn’t be here in the trial especially with 92 counts brought up by the District Attorney. On a case where there was NO physical evidence, yet had 92 counts may have overwhelmed and prejudiced the jury right from the beginning. This tactics by the DA amounted to nothing more than to appeal to the jury to deliver a verdict of guilty, in order to guarantee that Yolo County will maintain their beneficiary status, as it relates to discretionary funding provided to them based on the quantitative number of arrests and convictions obtained, regardless of facts and/or exculpatory evidence that would otherwise shield a given defendant from prosecutorial misconduct and abuse.
If trials are indeed searches for the truth rather than efforts to conceal it, full and fair disclosure is necessary to protect and preserve the rights of the accused against the awesome power of the district attorney and the court. The “unchecked and unbalanced” power of the prosecutors of the Yolo County Court criminal proceedings needs the importance of Federal review. People have attended my preliminary hearing and full 8 weeks trial; seen and heard the evidences including the pretext call; observe the trial proceedings and asked the hard questions. Since the trial is over, a public may look into my case, and I highly encourage you to dig and do all kind of research from all angles. Some of the facts to my case are found under the website: www.advocatesforajay.com
The statistics show that 40% of the sexual crimes allegations and subsequent prosecutions are found out to be false and that 1 out of 10 people who are incarcerated are innocent. That is a staggering statistic. The whole purpose of the law is to furnish justice. It is better that ten guilty people go free than one innocent person is convicted and suffers with his/her family, friends and community. One innocent person in prison is one too many.
There is no other way to describe the nature of prison other than a life of living death. I am trying to do my best to remain mentally and spiritually strong. You are my voice and strength. My faith and hope comes from the Lord, knowing I am innocent of all charges, and my children. The other big thing that makes me want to fight for TRUTH and JUSTICE is because of all of you. As you fight for the cause and against injustice, I hope you also feel that you are fighting an evil that has been allowed to stay in power. I hope you will continue to fight with eagerness in your heart, persistence in your spirit and courage in your soul. The fight for truth and justice must continue as I wait a long 2-3 years during the appeal process. You are my strength. So, stand under the banner of truth and justice and come before the court with God’s authority in your heart…fight for a cause, a life…and this will motivate me to be as courageous as you. Stand up and talk to the public, authority, media maintaining professionalism and respectful…defending me…defending the truth…providing facts…encouraging them to help…asking them and yourself to write, blog, reveal the injustice, and fear not as the truth is on our side.
The general public sentiment needs to change from “A man overcharged and over sentenced” to “A man falsely convicted to 378 years.” Any type of parole or reduced sentence simply validates the court’s verdict. It is not freedom that I am demanding. It is complete exoneration. My innocence based on facts needs to be the primary focus including the false allegations and false convictions issues, then the subject of prejudice, racial profiling, railroading, unfair trial, witch hunt, etc.
Here I am locked away from my 21 month old son, a pregnant wife, and all my love ones. I am locked away in a tiny concrete cell and given a sentence of four life-terms for a crime I did NOT, could NOT, and would NOT commit. I do not want to live branded as a violent criminal, as this conviction goes against every fiber in my being, my beliefs and what I have dedicated my life to. Peggy and I have always wanted to help those less fortunate; and share an idealistic view of the goodness of the world. We were foolish and naïve to think that self-sacrificing honest help would be returned with kindness and appreciation. Although it is personally hard for me to trust anyone, I must continue my faith in humanity as this world is full of beautiful and honest hard working people.
I know that the system can try to break each branch of mine in two, carry every leaf away, shake my limbs, and make me sway. But I have roots stretched in the earth, growing stronger since my birth. They will never touch them, for you see, it is the deepest part of me. But no matter how tough I try to be, I have my moments. You have got to learn to cry in prison. It’s like a fountain. You’ve got to open up the valves every now and again, and let the water pour through. Otherwise all the pipes get rusted. You think you are tough, but you have got to learn to cry. The hurt, pain and anger are like nothing I have ever experienced before. I do not hold any anger or hatred towards the accuser and am only praying for her. My anger is more towards the “Unchecked and Unbalanced” power of the prosecutors of the Yolo County Court proceedings.
Thank you for your patience in reading this long letter and allowing me to express my feelings. If I know your tender heart and your gracious spirit…you are grieving along with me and understand what I am going through.
I hope to continue to hear from you. Please know that if I am not able to reply to each individual letter, it is only because I am very busy with reading thousands of pages of court transcript as my attorney and I prepare for my appeal. But, I very much look forward to your letters and read each and every letter carefully and respectfully. I pray that God will bring into account all injustice that has happened, and with that he will remove the effects of all injustice, that means restore each person back to a peaceful life fully vindicated. I end this letter with a heartfelt thank you for believing in me, for loving me, and for your continuous support. May you all have a very Happy and Peaceful Holiday.